Spiritual Companioning

Spiritual Companioning (Direction) as it is also called is a relationship of accompaniment; one person journeying alongside another offering discernment, presence and anchoring in the midst of everyday experiences. This ancient practice has made its way into contemporary life, its origins springing from the Desert Fathers and Mothers of first Century Palestine, Cappadocia, Syria and Egypt, who committed to lives of  service, work and prayer.

These were mystics, often referred to as an Anchorite or Anchoress, or to borrow a phrase from the Celtic tradition, an Anam Cara (soul friend), who offered themselves as spiritual companions or friends to pilgrims who would make the journey into the desert to glean and be guided by their wisdom. These are our historical Spiritual Directors. Their role, as it is today, was not so much to give advice or ‘direction’ but in the real sense of the word to recognise the presence of the true spiritual guide, Wairua Tapu|Holy Spirit, who was already at work in the seeker, by discerning her presence and then reflecting back what has been there all along, as in a mirror.

Spiritual Companions are also referred to as ‘midwives of the soul’, whose task is to accompany  one in the journey of birthing. Rather than announcing the pregnancy their role is to discern the timing of the birth and assist in bringing the child into the world. So it is with the very many things that are being formed within us, we need someone to be present, to notice what is already happening, and to accompany it to birth.

Spiritual Companioning is also a practice similar to that of a Priest whose task it is to listen and  provide a confidential space of safety enabling truth to be told and transformation to take place. 

And finally it is a ministry of prayer, not ‘for’ someone but rather to give permission that all of life’s experiences are an invitation, or a response to prayer. Prayer is the universal cry of the heart, and in this way the offer of companioning is to all, regardless of an individual's faith tradition or background. Atua|God, or whichever name is chosen to describe the Divine is found everywhere, in all people and in all of creation. 

For me, the heart of Spiritual Companioning can be summed up in this beautiful quote by the 12th century Cistercian Monk, Aelred of Rievaulx,

‘How joyful you are if you have a friend with whom you may talk as freely as with yourself, to whom you neither fear to confess any fault nor blush at revealing any spiritual progress, to whom you may entrust all the secrets of your heart and confide all your plans’