Setting my Intentions
I’ve never been one for new year’s resolutions, yet acknowledge that the beginning of a year is a wonderful opportunity to pause, reflect and where possible, to start afresh. The word ‘resolution’ carries with it a sense of determined action, or as one meaning states, it is ‘the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc..’ In light of this, to adopt a stance of resolution implies an expectation that there’s going to be some hard work ahead to achieve my goals. Of course this isn’t to say that effort required for the journey ahead is not necessary, but perhaps there is an easier way to set out on the road.
American author and mindfulness teacher Jack Kornfield offers instead the idea to ‘set your intentions’ when setting out on a new path. The focus here is more on the awareness of what underlies the action or perhaps the how I hope to get to where I am going and the way I’m wanting to be with others on the journey.
‘the heart's intention… precedes each action.’
- Jack Kornfield
What then is my intention this year? As one who identifies as a #9 on the enneagram, my intention, (which for me is another way to name my motivation in life), is to live in peace. Clearly this isn’t always possible as I can’t control the world around me. But I can choose my own response and if I make peace my posture, launching pad, or the starting blocks for this year's lap around the sun, then this becomes a kindness that I offer myself and those who join me on the way.
Conversely I could set my course from the shadow part of me, that which would fall heavily into fear and anxiety, but if I lead from that place the road ahead will be more difficult and I might find myself needing to reach for the new year’s ‘resolution’ framework, one that requires me to get my head down and make it happen.
For me then, setting and living from my motivational intention is a kinder approach to outworking my desire and hope for what a new year might bring. Yet it is actually a challenge as for some reason it seems easier to allow my shadow self to lead (albeit unconsciously), as this is the part of me that demands my immediate attention and action lest it loses its grip of control. I have learned from experience that when I move anywhere from a place of fear, anxiety or frustration that the road ahead immediately becomes fraught with friction and loss of peace. So the constant practice of awareness, a focussed attention on my body and deliberate choice to let my peaceful intention lead might be a challenge and hard work at first and at every starting moment, but on the road that opens ahead, regardless of the scenarios, I am anchored and (hopefully), responding in peace.
This then is what guides my prayers, my meditation.
I want to share a poem by David Whyte, called ‘Start Close In’, where he invites the reader to ‘take the first step’. As you read it I’m sure you will find your own interpretation, as that is the beauty and the insistence of poetry. For me though, the first words are my invitation to be consciously aware of what lies at the core of me, my way of seeing and being in the world, before I take the first step.
Sometimes it’s hard to know what the first step might be, but I know that if I take it from the posture of what my intentions are then I can hope that the road will open more naturally before me and in a less forced manner, I will step onto it in a trusting way.
Start close in,
don't take the second step or the third,
start with the first thing close in,
the step you don't want to take.
Start with the ground you know,
the pale ground beneath your feet,
your own way of starting the conversation.
Start with your own question,
give up on other people's questions,
don't let them smother something simple.
To find another's voice, follow your own voice,
wait until that voice becomes a private ear listening to another.
Start right now take a small step you can call your own
don't follow someone else's heroics,
be humble and focused,
start close in,
don't mistake that other for your own
-David Whyte