It’s been quite a week so far. In the midst of Aōtearoa being thrust headlong into national lockdown, our third grandchild was born in New York. His name is Sol, which means sun in Spanish, and peace in Hebrew. What a beautiful gift his parents have bestowed on him, a name so rich in meaning. What a beautiful gift God has bestowed on them, us his whānau, and no doubt everyone who crosses his path. 

It’s hard being apart from family I’ve got to say, and the day after he was born it felt particularly tough. Perhaps it's because I feel so deeply connected to this little guy, he is after all part of me as we share a common genealogy. Physical spaces don’t control the depth of connection, they just highlight the painful reality of being apart. And it’s real.

So I went for a walk. It’s what I do to clear my head and engage with my heart which usually means robust conversations with the powers that be wherever I notice them in the moment, mostly outside in nature. It helps to be honest I find. There’s always a silver lining of course, and the sun always comes out tomorrow, but sometimes I just want to brood with the clouds.

So I did. If tears wash the soul, I was cleansed.

As I got closer to home I noticed a bucket of daffodils sitting outside someone's gate. The colour caught my attention at first, and then a note attached to the bucket which I assumed would be the price for a bunch, usually $2 out our way. Country life :) I had no coins on me, but decided to cross the street to check them out anyway, perhaps find out how much they were and then come back with the right change. But they were free. Initially I felt uncomfortable with the idea of taking a bunch for myself. I even looked around to see if anyone was watching. Was it a trick? Was I stealing? Maybe there are too many conspiracy theories floating around lately and I’m forgetting to trust in the benevolence of the Universe. 

But the street was empty of course, everyone was safely shut away in their bubbles. The sign said ‘Help yourself’, so I stopped overthinking, took a photo, selected a bunch and went happily home. 

I read this interesting article about the way we talk about photography that includes words and phrases like ‘take a photo’, or go to a ‘photo shoot’. The author was inviting the use of a different word to describe the act of photography, that of ‘receiving’ the image. This was the experience I had this day. I ‘received’ a photo of these daffodils and also the heart of the sign on the bucket which read ‘Help Yourself’.  

It’s not often that something that I really love and need is outside someone’s house with a ‘Free’ sign attached. I have been known to drag other peoples free junk home, convinced at the time that I needed more stuff; a typewriter, a table, plants, and once a random ceramic tile (?). None of these things were necessary but they were free.

As I decided to choose a bunch to take home I realised that I wasn’t taking them because they were free but because I in fact needed them. These bright yellow fragrant early spring beauties were luring me across the street, a gift from a neighbour, a gift from the Divine, joining me in celebrating the birth of a baby whose name means Sun, a moment where I was drawn from my darkness to be greeted by the light. I didn’t realise I needed a gift to help me celebrate this beautiful occasion, but I did, and I received it gladly.

The next day on my walk I noticed that there was another full bucket of daffodils. These people must have a garden full! On my way home I thought about taking another bunch. I was amazed that others hadn’t stopped to do the same. They probably assumed they were for sale, and didn’t have the right change, so kept walking or driving past. But I knew, so I boldly strode across the street again and selected another bunch! Why not? 

Today however I just walked on by enjoying them from a distance, hoping that others would stop and pick up a little bit of sunshine to brighten their day, as I did. Life is a gift.